Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Conversations with the Devil

These tears they fall down on my face
I cry without an ounce of grace
For I am human and I feel the hurt inside
And when the hurt draws nearer, there’s nothing to hide
No more masks to hide behind
No more faces to fool the blind
I’m crying and I’m crying and I know not why
It feels like these tears will drown me till I die

These tears they fall down on my breasts
My nipples they pucker; it feels like a caress
I know not why I am crying here alone
I begin to laugh as I sit on this cold floor of stone
“Why do I cry when I know nothing will come off it?
Why do I have to deal with this never-ending shit?”
As I cry and I laugh it begins to dawn on me
That in this body I can never be free.
As long as I have thoughts
I’ll be tortured a lot.

These tears they settle inside of my naval
I laugh and cry as though possessed by the devil
The hurt is choking me from within
I try to tell myself but I just don’t listen
The dam has broken at last it seems
Years of torture and grief revealed
But why the laughter escorting the tears?
For my mental sanity I do fear; I do fear

These tears at last they dry up inside of me
At last everything is perfectly clear for me to see
I’ve been crying all this while out of pity for myself
I have no friends and I need some help
No one to listen to my words of woe
No affectionate responses to help me grow
I’m alone in this world and it hurts to realize
That laughter is precious and love a prize

At this juncture the door opens wide
I can’t distinguish the figure in the sudden burst of light
A voice as cold as a stalagmite booms from without
“What’s the matter child? I can see your upset without a doubt.
Is there something I can do to help you?
Or is there something you’d like to do but can’t do?
Talk to me little one
For I am the only friend you have under the sun.”

At these kind words, I got up and wept
At last I know what it feels like to have a friend; to be blessed
“I have no friends’ good sir and for this reason I am upset.
But now that I have you there’s no more reason to fret.
I have but only one request of you.
I’m sure you wouldn’t mind doing it too.
It is but a small request
Could you please step into the room at my behest?”

At this the cold voice laughed aloud
A sound to break any spirit no doubt
A sound of impending doom and misery
A sound that still lies embedded in my memory.
I now regret making that small request
But its too late now, he has already listened to my behest
And into the room the stranger in the light stepped
If you had been there I’m sure you would have wept.

I cannot describe the sight that stood before me
I cannot believe there exists anything so ghastly
Frozen with fear and ever increasing doubt
There was a smile still plastered on my mouth
Taking this as a sign of acceptance
The stranger held my hand and kissed it with derision.
“Little one, little one, I know what it’s like to be lonely.
They call me the devil; they say that I’m ghostly.
Not a girl or a boy is willing to talk to me
Can you imagine how it must feel to be so lonely?”

At that he held my hand in a tight brace
And led me to the fireplace
“Sit dear one let us have a conversation
A conversation about love and friendship and absolute desolation.
Growing up as a child I was meek and mild
My father seeing this would be swept up in a fury so wild
‘Son, have you no respect for all of your kind?
Allow me to be your one and only guide.’
Hereafter I was taught and I was brainwashed
To do all things that would lead to absolute chaos
I have raped, I have murdered, I have plundered and caused suffering
This guilt that I’m dealing with does not abate; but I’m still struggling.”
At this the stranger broke down in tears
Crying unashamedly; he relieved me of my fears.

When the last traces of doubt and fear fled away from me
I reached out to embrace the devil, all the while consoling him soothingly.
Crooning and murmuring, my heart went out to him
And in an attempt to mollify him, I spoke on a whim.
“Dear Sir, fear not, now that you have confessed
You are already forgiven; you are ready for progress.
Is there anything that I can do for you?
Is there anyway that I can take away your blues?”

It was then that the devil stopped crying
It was then that he turned and looked me in the eyes.
“Yes there is in fact something you can do for me.
It will only take away nine months of your life you see.
I want you to bear me a child
And this is the reason why I have come to you tonight.”

These tears they now keep flowing down my face
These tears they now keep flowing down my breasts
These tears they will never settle in my naval
For I am now carrying the child of the devil…

[Note to the general audience - The sketches that I have posted are not my own works of art. These have just been randomly selected to suit my poems. The artists remain unknown to me. To whomsoever they may be - I salute you!]

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